The Essence of Manhood

In a time when some politicians define manliness by how loudly they yell or how many enemies they threaten, we should pause and ask ourselves: Is this really what it means to be a man?

Many Republicans lament the so-called "decline of masculinity." They see the rise of empathy, emotional honesty, and compassion not as a strength but as impotence. They equate these values with being feminine, mocking them as a weakness.

But history tells a different story.

The most respected men throughout history were not admired simply for their capacity for violence, but for their ability to rise above it. George Washington didn’t become the “Father of our Country” by endlessly waging war. He earned that title because, once the fighting ended, he chose peace. He walked away from power when he could have held it indefinitely. He embodied restraint, wisdom, and a commitment to the greater good. Most importantly, he embraced compassion.

Compare that with the modern macho posturing of men like Donald Trump, who is known for encouraging violence at political rallies. He equivocated after white supremacists brought death to the streets of Charlottesville. “Very fine people on both sides,” he famously said, offering moral cover to cruelty and murder. This isn’t leadership. It’s cowardice wrapped in bluster. It’s weakness masquerading as manliness. It’s cruelty parading as strength.

Where does this distorted definition of manliness originate? One possibility is that we’ve been fed a steady diet of fictional strongmen through comic books, TV shows, and R-rated movies, where lone wolves with guns settle scores through cruelty and brutality. These fictional characters rarely stick around to rebuild what they’ve destroyed. They don’t have to face the consequences of their vengeance; the story concludes with an adrenaline rush and no mention of repercussions. And yet, they’ve become the blueprint for far too many men who cling to the notion that America must be made great again, through brutality, misogyny, and unrestrained cruelty.

But here’s the thing: Real men don’t destroy—they build. They lead not by fear, but by example. They aren’t afraid to show courage, even in those subtle moments when doing the right thing may draw criticism. They defend the sick and advocate for human rights, regardless of class or the type of people they protect.

Consider the Prophet Muhammad, a man who led in war when necessary, but whose lasting legacy was not one of violence, but of peacebuilding, diplomacy, and justice. He brought order to chaos, dignity to the oppressed, and forgiveness to those who once opposed him. His strength lay not in domination, but in his ability to temper force with mercy. By any definition, he was a man worthy of his great legacy, and certainly one who set a good example to follow.

True manhood is not measured by brutality, cruelty, misogyny, or vengeance. It is measured by character … by the strength to be kind, the resolve to love fiercely, the integrity to defend justice without cruelty, and the conviction to bravely stand up not just for oneself but for others.

If there is a crisis of masculinity in America, it’s not because men have become too soft. It’s because too many men have confused cruelty with courage, bluster with backbone, ridicule with moral righteousness, and raw aggression with assertiveness.

It’s time we remember what real strength looks like. And it doesn’t wear a scowl or carry a bullhorn and a gun. It listens. It nurtures. It forgives. And above all, it leads with love.